It feels like I'm having a layer of hot water running  n burning under my skin.
Like my chest is unable to expand enough to take a sufficient  breath
Like my throat is clogged with my own tissue.
Like I want to sleep  like I want to disappear.. I want this life to finish.

It feels like I am a slum bag who's unable to move.
He isn't  following me.. not supporting me.. not thinking wow she is amazing.. not trying to buy me a color brush or pen .. not trying to register me for a photography course.. he is not asking about my studies .. not trying to get involved .. he's  not trying to push me to be a better person.

Earlier I tried to know about what he does.. tried to help.. to push but he pushed me away.


I  don't  want to beg people to stand by my side an support my back

I'm not doing this.

No we r not in a relation.. u just decided to fix n stabilize  the source of admiration, me, for ur sel.f

I don want to be your keychain .. or ur whore.. I want to be a queen.. a flying bird.. an eagle or hawk..